Caleb's Birth

As my due date (Dec. 3) drew near, I began to worry that Caleb might be born on Dec. 7.  Joel was scheduled to teach a very important all-day seminar to Samsung executives that day, and cancelling it was not an option.  So if the baby came on the 7th, Joel would miss the birth.  I probably should have just come to grips with this possibility and prepared for it, but instead I really stressed about it and prayed the baby would come before then.  

I started having contractions 10-15 minutes apart on the 3rd.  All that night the contractions continued and I got a lousy night's sleep.  By the evening of the 4^th (24 hours later), they were 6-8 minutes apart.  So I called my doula and told her we'd probably be coming in sometime that night.

"Six to eight minutes apart?" she said, "You had better come in now, since it is your 5th baby, and you have a 40 min. drive to get here."  But I reassured her that my labors are super long and slow and that I would come when the contractions were 5 minutes apart for about an hour.  Until then, I would try to get some sleep.  I could tell she questioned my decision to stay home longer.  But I knew that I knew what I was doing.  I tried to sleep through the contractions, but it was difficult.  I had a second night of very little sleep.

In the morning (on Dec. 5th), they increased to 5 minutes apart consistently, so we headed for the birthing center.  I still thought I might have a ways to go, but I was hoping they would give me some Pitocin to help things along.  I have always needed Pitocin for all of my previous births.

Well, they gave me some, but a very low dose.  That's what happens, I guess, when you choose a natural birthing center and a doctor who is a big proponent of natural births.  I'm not against natural birthing, but I've had very good experiences with my medical births and have very much appreciated the medical interventions I received during labor.

The view out our birthing center window.  The first heavy snowfall of the year came that day.

 To make a long story short, I labored all that day and all through that night.  I told Joel and my doula to go to sleep while I spent a good portion of the night sitting in the warm birthing tub, watching the Natalie Cole with Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert twice through.  It was a nice distraction from the pain. 

In the morning, now Dec. 6^th, I received more Pitocin and asked for an epidural.  I wanted the epidural not so much because the pain was unbearable, but because I was such an exhausted emotional wreck after three nights of almost no sleep.  I did not have the physical or emotional energy to face the transitional & pushing phases of labor without some extra help.  The epidural did help, but not as much as I hoped it would.  Korean epidurals are very mild.  I had complete feeling in my legs and was free to walk around, which was nice, but it only took the edge off the pain.

As the pushing phase approached, I was surprised that I felt no urge to push.  I had mild epidurals with Andrew's and Sarah's births and had felt the urge to push so strongly then.  With Savannah, my first, I pushed 45 minutes.  With Andrew, only 15.  With Lizzie, I only pushed once.  With Sarah, I pushed about 5 minutes.  So I was not worried about pushing Caleb.  Little did I know, I was in for a real surprise this time.  It was the hardest pushing I've ever done.  I'm not sure how long it was, but it was definitely longer than with Savannah.  And it didn't seem to be doing any good.  He just wasn't coming out.  I felt like I needed gravity to help me.  So I asked for the birthing stool.  This allowed me to push in a sitting position.  He finally started moving down.  But it was SLOW going.  And VERY difficult.  I have never been so uncomfortable in my life.  And I have never worked so hard in my life.  When he finally came out, I learned why it was so difficult.  He was posterior - face up.  The doctor said many posterior babies end up being stuck so long in the birth canal that an emergency C-section is required.  Caleb was also my biggest baby - weighing 8 lbs. 4 ounces.  And he had a large head for his body size, said my doctor.  

The moment he came out, I felt greater relief than I’ve ever felt.  Our little Caleb was finally here!  He cried loud and clear.  And then he was so calm and alert.  He looked around at us, blinking calmly.  I’ll never forget it.  He was so calm.  So alert.  Those little eyes looking up at us.  It was a precious time.

Looking back now, I am so grateful that I chose the birthing center and doctor that I did.  At the time, I was very frustrated with him that he didn’t give me higher doses of Pitocin.  I had also wanted a stronger epidural.  But I may have ended up with a C-section, had I not been able to stand and sit and get in a vertical position to push.  Also, the birthing center was such a quiet, beautiful, peaceful place.  And I was so tired and emotional and stressed about having the baby before the 7^th so that Joel could be there.  So it was nice to be in a peaceful place to help calm my nerves.  I’m also really glad I had the birthing tub to help me get through my third long night of contractions.  And I’m really grateful that I had a wonderful doula, Stacy, who provided a lot of support and comfort throughout our stay there.  And even though the epidural was mild, I was thankful for it.  I needed all the help I could get to make it through this birth. 

I also felt the presence of my grandmother and great-grandmother there with me.  This provided me with comfort as well.  I knew they had come to support me.  I felt close to them that day.  My grandmother was also 32 years old, the same age that I am now, when she gave birth to her fifth baby.  And I remember her telling me that her fifth was also her most difficult labor.

Caleb was born at 11:30 a.m. on the 6^th.  A few hours after he was born, Joel went home to relieve Kelly, who had been caring for our children.  He loaded the kids in the car and drove to his work to pick up some materials he needed to teach the next day.  Then he and the kids drove an hour back to the birthing center to pick up Caleb and I.  It was about 8:00pm.  They picked us up and we all drove home together, through the freezing December air and Seoul’s city lights, only hours after I gave birth. 

I usually enjoy staying in the hospital for a couple days after giving birth, but this time I couldn’t wait to get back home.  And my doctor said I could, as I was feeling great right after birth.  And so I went home that very evening.

A few minutes after arriving at home, Brother Che, Brother Ahn, Sister Kim, and Sister Son from church arrived bringing us dinner-  rice, pork, vegetables, and a huge pot of myok-guk (seaweed soup), which is a special soup served throughout Asia to new mothers after birth.  I actually really love it, as I’ve developed a taste for it now that we’ve lived here a few years.  I was so happy to receive it.

Joel got the kids to bed.  Then he stayed up late finalizing his preparations for his very important seminar the next day.  I went to bed, feeling so overjoyed to have our little son and to not be pregnant or laboring any longer.  Caleb slept from 8:00pm when we left the birthing center, until 4:30am when I felt that someone was waking me.  I felt the presence of my grandmothers again.  They were telling me to wake up and care for Caleb.  I couldn’t believe I had slept so long.  I couldn’t believe Caleb had slept so long.  He was still in his carseat.  I took him out and checked his diaper, cleaned him up and fed him. 

Joel was then up, getting ready for his day.  The driver came at 6:30am to pick him up and drive him out to Samsung’s headquarters, about an hour away.  When Joel stood up to teach, he began by introducing himself.  When he told them he had five children, they gasped in surprise.  Then Joel said, “You are the first people I have ever said that to, because my youngest, my son, was born just 21 hours ago.”  Everyone applauded with congratulations.

Joel was on his feet, teaching for eight hours that day.  When he got home that night, we felt like celebrating.  We had survived one of the most exhausting weeks of our lives.  Joel’s important high-pressure day of teaching was over, my labor and difficult pregnancy were over, and we had a precious new little family member to enjoy. 

A tired but happy father of five, holding one day old Caleb, after  a full day of teaching