Caleb is three months old now. He has his U.S. passport, birth certificate, social security card, and Korean alien registration card. He has been immunized, naturalized, nebulized, and circumcised. This kid is ready to live his life!
3/14/2013
Three Months
Caleb is three months old now. He has his U.S. passport, birth certificate, social security card, and Korean alien registration card. He has been immunized, naturalized, nebulized, and circumcised. This kid is ready to live his life!
3/06/2013
Lizzie's 100th Day Hat
2/16/2013
Pigtails
A Special Visit
2/10/2013
Caleb's Hospital Stay
Last month, we had one of the most exhausting weeks of our life. Our five week old Caleb had pneumonia, caused by RSV. After a few weeks of sickness being in our home, and our exhausted efforts to keep Caleb safe from the germs, the poor little guy caught it and became very ill.
After two long nights of caring for him at home and getting very little sleep, I groggily dragged Caleb and myself to the pediatrician's office at our nearby international clinic. He had no fever, just congestion and decreased appetite, so I was surprised when she suspected pneumonia and ordered a chest x-ray. The x-ray confirmed her suspicion and she suggested he be admitted to the hospital. Again I was surprised. None of my children have ever been admitted to a hospital. I myself have never been admitted to a hospital, except to give birth. So this was a new experience for us. And, being in a Korean hospital, I was a bit worried about translation abilities & English proficiency of the hospital staff. Would I be able to communicate and understand what was going on?
We live a short 5 minute drive from the hospital. So I drove home and packed our bag and then returned and checked in. It was Friday early evening when we got settled in our room. All the shared rooms were full, so they put us in a private room. Though it was pricey, it ended up being a blessing because it was so quiet and I was so incredibly exhausted and in need of a good night's sleep.
Caleb's condition worsened greatly throughout the day on Friday. And by nighttime, his cough sounded terrible. So I was SO grateful that we were in the hospital by then. He was also down to eating less than half of what he normally ate. So he was in pretty bad shape. I was so thankful to get him on an IV to get him some fluids. However, I cried the whole time they were putting the IV in. This was half because I was so tired after two nights of very little sleep, and pretty much anything will make me cry when I'm that tired. And it was half because it took the nurse so long to find a suitable vein on such a tiny baby. Caleb was only 5 weeks old and his veins were so tiny and hard to find that she had to poke him several times before she found one that worked. I think he was poked about 4 times in the foot and 4 times in the hand before a good vein was found. His little hands and feet got so bruised throughout that week from all the needle-poking.
After a couple of hours, I noticed his arm was swelling a lot. I showed the nurse and she sent me back to the needle-poking room to start over again, getting him a new IV because apparently this first one didn't work after all. This time she found a good vein on the first try, so I was very pleased. Back to our room, we began his treatments and medications. I was so grateful that my friend, Ji Yeon, came that night to help me. There were three different oral medications we had to give him and two different nebulizer medications and they all had to be given at different times, a certain number of hours apart from each other. I was way too tired to process all the information and carry out all I needed to do to take care of him. Ji Yeon got me through it. She kept track of it all for the first 24 hours or so. Honestly, I don't know what I would have done without her. And that first night, she stayed there with me and helped me care for Caleb throughout the night so that I could rest. I needed rest so badly and would not have gotten hardly any had she not been there. Caleb was so uncomfortable, he could hardly sleep unless he was being held and walked.
The next day a shared room became available. I was not too excited about the thought of a shared room, being so worried about Caleb being exposed to more germs and me being in a noisy room where it might be difficult for us to sleep. But the private room was simply too expensive, so I just prayed that we would be matched well with roommates. And my prayers were answered. A lovely little 11 month old girl with pneumonia and her mother roomed with us. Her was mother Korean, her father Canadian, so they spoke English well and we enjoyed visiting with each other. I really enjoyed getting to know them. After a few days, they went home and we remained in the hospital. Again I stressed about who would take their place. My prayers were answered again as a sweet mother and her 4 month old baby joined us. She also spoke English, well enough for us to communicate, and we had a really great time talking to each other. She was very cheerful and positive. Rooming with her was a great blessing. We exchanged phone numbers and I hope we will always stay in touch and be friends from now on.
My prayers were answered in many other ways as well. During my 7 day stay, Ji Yeon was able to stay 3 nights with me. Those were the most difficult nights and I don't know how I would have survived them without her there helping me. My home teachers came one evening and gave Caleb a blessing. Brother Ahn from my ward came and gave me a blessing. The full-time missionaries visited me and shared a meaningful scripture. My Relief Society presidency came to visit me. And every day, at least one sister in my ward came to visit with me for a couple of hours and hold Caleb so that I could take a shower. All the doctors and nurses were exceptional. And most of them spoke English very well. I now have great confidence in Korean hospitals. Caleb received excellent care. Joel and the kids were also helped a great deal by ward members and friends who brought meals and watched Sarah so Joel could continue to go to work. We were overwhelmed by all the love and support we received. I don't know how we would have made it through the week without all the help they gave us.
The scripture the missionaries shared with me was Mosiah 24:15,
"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."
The scripture the missionaries shared with me was Mosiah 24:15,
"And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."
The night the missionaries shared this scripture with me, I had had a very difficult day. I had thought Caleb would be well enough to be released that morning, but that morning's chest x-ray showed that his condition had worsened rather than improved. He had coughed so hard the previous day that he could hardly hold down any food or medicine. He was therefore so hungry that I had spent that entire night awake, feeding him. So I was not surprised that his chest x-ray showed that he had worsened, but the news was still very discouraging. This meant we would be staying a few more days. I was very discouraged and exhausted. When the Elders shared this scripture with me, I felt the Spirit strongly. I knew I needed to cheerfully submit and that if I did so, the Lord would strengthen me.
Right after the missionaries left, a nurse came in to check Caleb's IV. It had stopped working again. We were back to the needle-poking room, getting a new IV. This time the needle-poking nurse was a woman who spoke excellent English. She told me about her son who is ten years old and has always had serious health problems. He has spent nearly 365 days of his life on an IV. She told me she has had to learn to be a strong mom. She had to poke Caleb a few times before finding a good vein, but I did not cry. I felt strengthened by her words and by the scripture the missionaries shared. Cheerfully submit, cheerfully submit, I silently repeated to myself.
From that point on, Caleb's condition started to improve. He was able to hold down his food and medicine. He was able to sleep better. And the congestion in his lungs began to release. I felt stronger too. By the end of the week, I had truly learned how to cheerfully submit to all the challenges we faced there. I learned to trust in the Lord and have faith that He knew what I needed, what Caleb needed, and what my family needed to make it through that week. He strengthened me. And He sent people to help us. It was a real faith-building experience for me. I really was able to bear up my burdens with ease. That strength was truly a gift.
The next day, Brother Ahn sent me a text on my phone. It was a scripture, Mosiah 24:16:
"And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage."
The next day, Brother Ahn sent me a text on my phone. It was a scripture, Mosiah 24:16:
"And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage."
I cried when I read this. The next morning, after another chest x-ray and visit from the doctor, she told us Caleb could be released that day. I was so happy. After seven days, Caleb was finally well enough for us to be able to go home.
I was a bit nervous to take care of him at home, since he was not fully recovered yet and still required so much care. And I knew I would miss delicious Korean meals delivered to me three times a day. :) But I was really happy to go home as well. Joel had stopped by a couple times to visit, but I hadn't seen the kids for a full week.
I called Joel to tell him the good news. Then I packed up our things and he came to pick us up. I couldn't believe we were finally leaving. I had spent so much time in confinement, that I had begun to wonder if there was life outside that little hospital room. Before we left, I took a few pictures, so that I would always be able to remember our time there, and all the blessings we received during this trying week.
Our hospital room:
I was a bit nervous to take care of him at home, since he was not fully recovered yet and still required so much care. And I knew I would miss delicious Korean meals delivered to me three times a day. :) But I was really happy to go home as well. Joel had stopped by a couple times to visit, but I hadn't seen the kids for a full week.
I called Joel to tell him the good news. Then I packed up our things and he came to pick us up. I couldn't believe we were finally leaving. I had spent so much time in confinement, that I had begun to wonder if there was life outside that little hospital room. Before we left, I took a few pictures, so that I would always be able to remember our time there, and all the blessings we received during this trying week.
Our hospital room:
1/29/2013
Caleb's Birth
As my due date (Dec. 3) drew near, I began to worry that Caleb might be born on Dec. 7. Joel was scheduled to teach a very important all-day seminar to Samsung executives that day, and cancelling it was not an option. So if the baby came on the 7th, Joel would miss the birth. I probably should have just come to grips with this possibility and prepared for it, but instead I really stressed about it and prayed the baby would come before then.
I started having contractions 10-15 minutes apart on the 3rd. All that night the contractions continued and I got a lousy night's sleep. By the evening of the 4th (24 hours later), they were 6-8 minutes apart. So I called my doula and told her we'd probably be coming in sometime that night.
"Six to eight minutes apart?" she said, "You had better come in now, since it is your 5th baby, and you have a 40 min. drive to get here." But I reassured her that my labors are super long and slow and that I would come when the contractions were 5 minutes apart for about an hour. Until then, I would try to get some sleep. I could tell she questioned my decision to stay home longer. But I knew that I knew what I was doing. I tried to sleep through the contractions, but it was difficult. I had a second night of very little sleep.
In the morning (on Dec. 5th), they increased to 5 minutes apart consistently, so we headed for the birthing center. I still thought I might have a ways to go, but I was hoping they would give me some Pitocin to help things along. I have always needed Pitocin for all of my previous births.
Well, they gave me some, but a very low dose. That's what happens, I guess, when you choose a natural birthing center and a doctor who is a big proponent of natural births. I'm not against natural birthing, but I've had very good experiences with my medical births and have very much appreciated the medical interventions I received during labor.
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| The view out our birthing center window. The first heavy snowfall of the year came that day. |
To make a long story short, I labored all that day and all through that night. I told Joel and my doula to go to sleep while I spent a good portion of the night sitting in the warm birthing tub, watching the Natalie Cole with Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert twice through. It was a nice distraction from the pain.
In the morning, now Dec. 6th, I received more Pitocin and asked for an epidural. I wanted the epidural not so much because the pain was unbearable, but because I was such an exhausted emotional wreck after three nights of almost no sleep. I did not have the physical or emotional energy to face the transitional & pushing phases of labor without some extra help. The epidural did help, but not as much as I hoped it would. Korean epidurals are very mild. I had complete feeling in my legs and was free to walk around, which was nice, but it only took the edge off the pain.
As the pushing phase approached, I was surprised that I felt no urge to push. I had mild epidurals with Andrew's and Sarah's births and had felt the urge to push so strongly then. With Savannah, my first, I pushed 45 minutes. With Andrew, only 15. With Lizzie, I only pushed once. With Sarah, I pushed about 5 minutes. So I was not worried about pushing Caleb. Little did I know, I was in for a real surprise this time. It was the hardest pushing I've ever done. I'm not sure how long it was, but it was definitely longer than with Savannah. And it didn't seem to be doing any good. He just wasn't coming out. I felt like I needed gravity to help me. So I asked for the birthing stool. This allowed me to push in a sitting position. He finally started moving down. But it was SLOW going. And VERY difficult. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. And I have never worked so hard in my life. When he finally came out, I learned why it was so difficult. He was posterior - face up. The doctor said many posterior babies end up being stuck so long in the birth canal that an emergency C-section is required. Caleb was also my biggest baby - weighing 8 lbs. 4 ounces. And he had a large head for his body size, said my doctor.
The moment he came out, I felt greater relief than I’ve ever felt. Our little Caleb was finally here! He cried loud and clear. And then he was so calm and alert. He looked around at us, blinking calmly. I’ll never forget it. He was so calm. So alert. Those little eyes looking up at us. It was a precious time.
Looking back now, I am so grateful that I chose the birthing center and doctor that I did. At the time, I was very frustrated with him that he didn’t give me higher doses of Pitocin. I had also wanted a stronger epidural. But I may have ended up with a C-section, had I not been able to stand and sit and get in a vertical position to push. Also, the birthing center was such a quiet, beautiful, peaceful place. And I was so tired and emotional and stressed about having the baby before the 7th so that Joel could be there. So it was nice to be in a peaceful place to help calm my nerves. I’m also really glad I had the birthing tub to help me get through my third long night of contractions. And I’m really grateful that I had a wonderful doula, Stacy, who provided a lot of support and comfort throughout our stay there. And even though the epidural was mild, I was thankful for it. I needed all the help I could get to make it through this birth.
I also felt the presence of my grandmother and great-grandmother there with me. This provided me with comfort as well. I knew they had come to support me. I felt close to them that day. My grandmother was also 32 years old, the same age that I am now, when she gave birth to her fifth baby. And I remember her telling me that her fifth was also her most difficult labor.
Caleb was born at 11:30 a.m. on the 6th. A few hours after he was born, Joel went home to relieve Kelly, who had been caring for our children. He loaded the kids in the car and drove to his work to pick up some materials he needed to teach the next day. Then he and the kids drove an hour back to the birthing center to pick up Caleb and I. It was about 8:00pm. They picked us up and we all drove home together, through the freezing December air and Seoul’s city lights, only hours after I gave birth.
I usually enjoy staying in the hospital for a couple days after giving birth, but this time I couldn’t wait to get back home. And my doctor said I could, as I was feeling great right after birth. And so I went home that very evening.
A few minutes after arriving at home, Brother Che, Brother Ahn, Sister Kim, and Sister Son from church arrived bringing us dinner- rice, pork, vegetables, and a huge pot of myok-guk (seaweed soup), which is a special soup served throughout Asia to new mothers after birth. I actually really love it, as I’ve developed a taste for it now that we’ve lived here a few years. I was so happy to receive it.
Joel got the kids to bed. Then he stayed up late finalizing his preparations for his very important seminar the next day. I went to bed, feeling so overjoyed to have our little son and to not be pregnant or laboring any longer. Caleb slept from 8:00pm when we left the birthing center, until 4:30am when I felt that someone was waking me. I felt the presence of my grandmothers again. They were telling me to wake up and care for Caleb. I couldn’t believe I had slept so long. I couldn’t believe Caleb had slept so long. He was still in his carseat. I took him out and checked his diaper, cleaned him up and fed him.
Joel was then up, getting ready for his day. The driver came at 6:30am to pick him up and drive him out to Samsung’s headquarters, about an hour away. When Joel stood up to teach, he began by introducing himself. When he told them he had five children, they gasped in surprise. Then Joel said, “You are the first people I have ever said that to, because my youngest, my son, was born just 21 hours ago.” Everyone applauded with congratulations.
Joel was on his feet, teaching for eight hours that day. When he got home that night, we felt like celebrating. We had survived one of the most exhausting weeks of our lives. Joel’s important high-pressure day of teaching was over, my labor and difficult pregnancy were over, and we had a precious new little family member to enjoy.
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| A tired but happy father of five, holding one day old Caleb, after a full day of teaching |